Im a black women who has lived in hawaii for 7 years now. I work in a male dominated field. I find myself isolated from the locals at my place of work. Is there anyone else out there who has or is struggling with the cultural, gender and race differences. Any advice to help bring about a better working relationship would be helpful. Ive tried talking but people seem to get standoffish and it seems to be working against me more. Local people seem very cliquish and not very trusting of outsiders. There also seems to be a lot of talking behind my back. I need help? Ive been told hawaii has that sort of small town mentallity but how can I break down these barries and be treated equally. I dont need to make good friends but I would like to have a more comfortable working environment.

1. One of my coworkers and I was just talking about that. She is leaving to go to Hawaii (the school) in a few weeks. And her sister already goes there and she was telling me that the locals hate (hate is a strong word, dislike) blacks because there are so many blacks living there now. I guess they are afraid of losing their culture which doesnt make much since because they are apart of American culture. There really isnt much you can do. Once people believe something it takes the power to move mountains to change their minds and break the mold.
2. Ouch - I feel for you! For about 7 years I had a best friend who was black and quite frankly, I was disgusted by the way her and her family were treated in our white community. She got by that with being really active in her church and staying close to her Lord! Figure out what your needs are e.g. you are needing respect, acceptance and inclusion I would think. Guess what are the needs that your co-workers have - maybe they need security and you told me they need trust. Could be though that they are going to have to know you, but be honest with them - you know I feel upset when you talk about me behind my back - I really need more respect than that. 7 years is a long time in one community. Yeah, I would definitely speak out more about your feelings and needs.
3. When I used to live there, my mom went through that too. I was young so I really don't remember it but she told me that the best you can do is live people who were your race when you first get there. Once the people get used to you and understand your intentions aren't bad they'll warm up.
4. I am sorry to hear that, but the only thing I can suggest is to stick it out, give them no reason to talk about You, and hope they will eventually except You, good luck!.
   Years ago in Hawaii, gays, had to wear a sign, saying so, and were ridiculed, by others. I am not a gay activist, or gay, but this is just a fact about hawaii.
5. I'm so sorry to hear that. If it helps any, when my son and I moved to what we thought was a nice place on the Coast in the Pacific Northwest, we soon learned that these folks here (white bigots) did not want us here. In fact, when we were moving in they phoned the police and told them we were robbing a home. The police never showed but I found this outrageous. My son I have since sent him to live elsewhere and was beginning to pack up and move out when a white tourist ran a red light and totaled my vehicle. Now I am had to go to court and sue him and am awaiting the judge's ruling by mail.

   It's not just you but this area I live in doesn't just despise Black people, but they despise any newcombers and yes, there is a lot of talking behind people's backs. Never seen anything like it before, but I have come to the conclusion that I do my research before I am relocating and have found such a wonderful place on the water in Michigan. I bought some property in Benton County and did my research at http://www.wikipedia.com.

   Interestingly enough, I did some research on the islands of Hawaii because I heard that it was one of the most diverse places to live, but it's mostly like Polynesian, Asian, like that. Benton County is lovely, is a progressive place and has a population of about 55% African America, 41% White, and the rest Asian, Hispanic, Indian, like that. It's also near The Great Lake Michigan and I love living by the water, like you.

   I'd suggest researching demographics of other areas to live including those outside the U.S. because everyday the U.S. to me is more and more less of a beautiful place to live that I call my country. Wikipedia has afforded me to find a place to live at least for the next decade or maybe not, who knows, where I can live amongst people who look like me, talk like me (intelligent) and who I share many commonalities with including the color of my skin. I also called many residents, the airport, property council there, and other city/county agencies to see what it was like living there. They said "Well, come on down…we welcome you and you should "fit right in". I have never been told this about any other place I have moved to in America and most have unfortunately been white. I have learned to do my research on wikipedia.com in order to locate a nice place to live rather than "just showing up" because most people in America are not very nice or decent.

   I hope you can find a better place to live. Maybe just a vacation home on another island in Hawaii but if the people are not nice, I'd seriously think about relocating to a place where they are more accepting of you and a lot nicer. You don't need to even waste another year being miserable.

   Love

6. seems to me that the best thing you can do is be yourself. Wake up in the morning and give Thanks to the lord for all your blessings, the good and the bad. Be confident and positive about everything. Soon your personality will shine through. Smile through your day and don't ever feel intimidated. You go girl!

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